KSwagg At 21
Confident women are raised by loving dads.
A man’s daughter is his heart. Just with feet, walking out in the world. A father’s tears and fears are unseen, his love is easily expressed, Yet his care and protection remains as a pillar of strength throughout our lives. A well-fathered daughter will seek in her partnerships men who mirror the devoted father of childhood, avoiding partnerships that denigrate or compromise her. Having experienced the real thing when she was very young- having been taught self-reliance, she settles for no less when she is an adult. Fathers are unwitting objects of fascination for their daughters, and the interlude of their childhood can at times leave a bittersweet taste. Fathers and daughters have a special bond. She is always daddy’s little girl. It isn’t just the physical presence of the father that matters- it’s his engagement and involvement. Mothers show their daughters how to become strong, fathers make them.
A good father loves his daughter with no strings attached. He is available. He is both strong and tender. Being big and strong doesn’t mean being separate from one’s feelings; to the contrary, it means being very much in touch with them. Women who experienced fathers like that know that a strong man can cry, and that a man who can cry can also be very strong. The good father does not have to be perfect. Rather, he has to be good enough to help his daughter to become a woman who is reasonably self-confident, self-sufficient, and free of crippling self-doubt, and to feel at ease in the company of men. Mothers are not simply models of femininity to their daughters but also examples of how a woman reacts to a man. Daughters learn about fathers, and men, not only by being with Dad but also by observing their parent’s marital relationship or its unraveling. I wanted to eat her pain, take it into me and make it my own.
A strong girl no matter how girly she is, whether she loves unicorns and rabbits and wear sparkly stars in her hair and glitter nail polish, needs to know how to defend herself. The idea that women should be kept weak, uneducated, and dependent on a man in ancient civilization was somewhat misinterpreted and misused. If father and daughter can manage to cross the finish line of her emancipation together- she accepting Daddy’s flaws, he viewing hers as opportunities for her to learn and grow- the ups and downs of their relationship and mutual growth can prepare her for the ambiguities of life. The example of the father weathering his own emotional seasons can help the daughter weather her own. Success is not due to spontaneous combustion. You have to set yourself on fire.
My daughter isn’t going to grow up as fragile flower, incapable of taking care of herself. She will train as she fights, and she will fight as she trains. She will be raised to be total bad ass. Because everyone loves a bad ass. Raising a daughter who is aware and knowledgeable of the world so that she can navigate through it with her eyes open, rather than closed, can be one of her best protection. Knowledge is power. When it comes to raising daughters, especially strong daughters, who will grow up to be strong women; fathers can and do play a very important role in their development and growth. A girl’s sense of her womanly self depends only in part on how closely she has followed her mother’s example in attire and actions, or how much she loves or hates or respects her. It is from both parents that a girl gains her basic identity.
When fathers are lovingly involved with their daughters from birth, the daughters reap the benefits all their lives. Daughters who had fathers they could count on are the most likely to be drawn to men who treat them well. A father is an animal the moment he loves his public reputation more than his children but the father becomes a father of his children, the moment he loves his children more than his public reputation. Fathers are plenty whereas what we lack today is a selfless father. I taught her that there is no shame in breaking something, only in not being able to fix it. Ordinary father-daughter love had a charge to it that generally was both permitted and indulged. Time heals all. Wounds fester and ooze. Life drags you by a rope over rocks and stones and one day you look up, look back, and see you’ve cut a path, marked your trail. Fathers have a strengthening character like the sun and mother has a soothing temper like the moon.
I am so proud of my daughter Kennedy she is the biggest example of success and courage I have ever seen in my life. She is the empress of my kingdom. It’s rare to see a man step up and say “I can be a great father and learn about gymnastics with my daughter and take her to dance lessons because I love her.” I can make time to blow bubbles on the back porch. It doesn’t cause your man card to be revoked. There is pride, too, though – pride that he has done it alone. That his daughter is so curious, so resilient. There is the humility of being a father to someone so powerful, as if he were only a narrow conduit for another, greater thing. That’s how it feels right now, he thinks, kneeling beside her, rinsing her hair: as though his love for his daughter will outstrip the limits of his body. The walls could fall away, even the whole city, and the brightness of that feeling would not wane. You are the one girl that made me risk everything for a future worth having.
Kennedy, Anyone who loves in the expectation of being loved in return is not wasting their time you’ve proved that to me over and over. I have never found anybody who could stand to accept the daily demonstrative love I feel in me, and give back as good as I give. Men were often far different in their roles as fathers than they were as suitors, the memories of which kept them, out of necessity, both vigilant and violent, and even in tender moments, to their daughters. Stars crown the world, but the lights in your eyes, those are stars, too.They make up your crown.
The great thing to remember is that though our feelings come and go my love for us does not.