By Yuhas and Jillian Yuhas, MA, MFT, CPC
Men look for the things they want in a wife, yet they just don’t spell it out for you.
So, how do you know what a man desires? Well, men are simple creatures nonetheless. They don’t need much, but they do look for certain traits that make them feel loved, valued and appreciated by the woman they fall in love with.
Men are really looking for that special someone who wants to build a deeper connection that they can trust when they are away at work. A woman who they can confide in when they have had a long day. A wife who can put their relationship first before her own needs for the greater good of their marriage. And, a woman who is up for fun adventures.
Pretty simple, right?
Here are 5 Things Men Want In A Wife:
1.He Wants A Best Friend
He wants to know he can be himself around you at all times without you passing judgment. The last thing he wants to worry about is hiding his nerdy side, his peculiar habits, or lounging on the couch after a hard day at the office. He values a wife who can let himself be true to who he is, after all, you aren’t marrying him to change him. You are marrying him because you love him for who he is.
A man doesn’t want to marry a mother who bosses him around, unless of course you want to repel in him the opposite direction. A man desires a wife who gets excited to see him each day when he walks through the door after spending hours knee-deep in work tasks. He wants to feel your love, the same way you want to receive his love in return. The best way to do this is by giving him a hug and kiss the minute he gets home, then asking him how his day was? This quick gesture is sure to make him keep loving you and wanting to make you happy, too as it shows your admiration and appreciation for his presence.
A man will marry you because he likes you, he values you, and because you can make him laugh at all the silly things that go wrong. He wants to know life doesn’t always have to be serious, but you can share adventures on the road or cuddle up at home.
2.He Wants A Cheerleader
A man admires a woman who can cheer him on when he loses out on a work opportunity or one of his co-workers lets him down. He appreciates a woman who can lift him up and genuinely cares about his happiness in life. Knowing he has your unconditional love and support when facing a bad day, gives him reassurance to keep pushing ahead despite the roadblocks. Cheering him up with, “You are impeccable in my eyes and I know you will do great at your next meeting.” This lets him know you see his fullest potential even when he’s faced with a storm.
He craves a woman who vows to stand by his side for better or for worse when times get tough. Marriage isn’t all sunshine and rainbows, sometimes you face the storm together to elevate your relationship to the next level. When facing differences, this is a great way to deepen your bond with one another without giving up on each other. Those who stand together against all odds belong together until the end.
3.He Wants A Teammate
A man will marry the woman of his dreams who wants to be on his team. He will not marry a woman who’s ready to throw up a defense against him by pinning in a corner. He values a woman who believes in working together and striving for similar relationship goals to achieve as a couple.
He wants a woman who is equally equipped to voice her opinions in a respectful manner, as two heads are better than one when solving life’s problems. Someone who possess different strengths and weaknesses than him, so it’s never about competing with each other. It’s all about leveraging each of your best assets to conquer the daily stress you face as a couple.
Being a team player comes from having a WE Mindset versus a ME Mindset. A WE mindset entails both of your opinions versus the problem while working collaboratively to cultivate a win-win outcome. A ME Mindset comes from me versus him, therefore, arguing against each other without working through your differences as a couple. The ME mentality can easily destroy a marriage when you aren’t able to face the problem together. So avoid trying to be seen and heard and understand working with each other is best so you can have a healthy relationship.
4.He Wants A Lover
Men and women both yearn for intimacy and sex in their relationship. It’s one of the easiest avenues to appreciate when embodying the essence of the opposite sex. As much as a woman desires a man to pursue her, its admirable for a wife to surprise her husband and entice him. Showing you desire him too makes him feel wanted in return.
Not only does a man enjoy a spontaneous lover to spice things up, but he also loves a wife who can nurture his heart. Making him a home-cooked meal, writing a sweet note and placing in it his work bag to find later, or going on a date night once a week can foster the love you have for each other while deepening your ever-lasting love affair.
Talking with each other about your personal aspirations and goals, outside of your relationship is another way to stimulate a healthy connection with a partner and show each other love. Healthy relationships entail a balance of independence and interdependence, so being able to openly talk about your individual endeavors and keeps the love alive for a lifetime.
5.He Wants An Accountability Partner
A man doesn’t like to be told he’s made a mistake or did something that hurt your feelings. But a true gentleman will be appreciative of his wife communicating her needs and values to show she respects herself similar to how she respects him. If you don’t respect yourself as a woman, a man will not choose you to be his wife.
This isn’t about calling each other out for your faults either. It’s about holding each other accountable to support the foundation of a healthy relationship. It can be tough at times to meet each other’s needs, yet it’s important to help each other out. Unfortunately, he can’t read your mind just like you can’t read his mind either, so open communication channels is critical to healing and letting go of past mistakes.
As lovers, it will be important for each of you to express your relationship values and goals to cultivate a loving union that meets both of your needs. The more you lift each other up and support one another, the better partners you will be towards each other. Once again, a partnership supports both team players and requires both of you to work together to help hold each other accountable when things get sticky.
If you are ready to become a wife to a wonderful man, working on some of the things he wants (which you want too) will be helpful in growing your relationship and exchanging vows. A healthy relationship will not form on its own, but showing a man what he wants will get you one step closer to receiving a ring for a bigger commitment.
If you are happily committed, yet tired of waiting on him to ask you to be his wife, schedule a relationship coaching today so you can ring in the new year by achieving your relationship goals.
Jan & Jillian